Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin
queerbychoice

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I Am Not Always Feeling Emotions

Usually when I see Mikie online, we start the conversation by asking each other how we are. Usually Mikie answers this by saying that ey is either especially upset or especially happy (upset is more common). Usually I answer it by saying that I am "okay," although on rare occasions there is something I'm especially upset or happy about too, in which case I will say so. But more often I'm just "okay." Later in the conversation, every hour or so, Mikie will usually ask again how I am, but usually my emotions do not change on an hourly basis and so I am still the same way I was earlier. Since just repeating "okay" endlessly makes me feel boring, I usually answer by simply specifying what I am doing, because I figure that this conveys more information than simply "okay," and I figure that my "okayness" can simply be inferred from the fact that I am engaged in an activity which would not tend to make me feel particularly ecstatic nor particularly awful. However, Mikie always feels that I am evading the question and asks me again frustratedly, "Yes, but what are you feeling?"
chisparoja1: how are you?
QBC 101: i am reading an argument between two of my lj friends. it is being conducted civilly.
chisparoja1: yes but how are you? how do you feel?
QBC 101: i am okay. i am feeling simply interested in what i am reading. it confuses me when you expect me to always be feeling some more specific emotion at every single moment. the percentage of my life that i spend feeling specific emotions that can be put into words in a way other than by describing what i'm doing is rather small.
chisparoja1: :/
QBC 101: do you not have a "default, not really feeling anything in particular right now" emotional state???
chisparoja1: nope
QBC 101: i can't imagine this.
chisparoja1: i don't understand how you can not feel anything.
QBC 101: i don't understand how you can *always* feel something!
chisparoja1: :p
So! I am now investigating this further. Please satisfy my curiosity.

Poll #234856 The "Are You Always Feeling Emotions?" Poll

Are you always feeling a specific emotion at every moment?

I think so, yeah.
5(9.6%)
No, but it's fairly rare for me to not be feeling a specific emotion.
17(32.7%)
No, I quite often am not feeling any specific emotion in particular.
29(55.8%)
I never feel any emotions ever! I am a rock. Or a Vulcan.
1(1.9%)
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