Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin
queerbychoice

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My Computer Doesn't Love Me Anymore

Dear Computer,

It's clear that something is wrong with you. Sometime yesterday, you developed a sudden annoying habit of frequently (though not consistently - more like a third of the time) responding to my requests that you switch between browser tabs by petulantly closing the browser windows instead of merely switching away from them like I had asked you to. At first I thought the problem was specific to the browser I was using at the time. I tried closing the browser and reopening it, but that didn't help, so I tried rebooting my computer, but that didn't help either. Now I'm starting to realize that your newfound uncooperativeness affects other things as well - in particular, whenever I click on text with my mouse, you seem to want to highlight entire words all of a sudden (again, not entirely consistently, but awfully frequently), instead of merely inserting the cursor wherever I clicked. I think sometimes that can happen with a stuck key, but none of your keys seem to be stuck, or at least if they are, nothing I do seems to be successful at unsticking them.

Is it your mouse that's the problem? I was using the mouse to switch between browser tabs too. If I get you a new mouse, will you promise to work? In the past, I'm not sure I had you yet at the time, but with my old computer at least, whenever I tried to get it a new mouse, it would refuse to have anything to do with the mouse until after hours of trying everything I could think of, I would eventually resort to buying a second new mouse, and once I think even a third new mouse, until eventually I came across one that the computer was willing to work with. As a result, I have several unused new-old mice/mouses sitting around that I could try out on you. The question is: If I give you one of them, will you pleeeeeeease promise to start cooperating with me again? Because this business of having you close down my browser windows every third time I try to switch between them is going to drive me insane very, very fast.

Love,
Gayle
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