Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin
queerbychoice

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A Letter I Will Not Bother to Send

. . . because all it would ever really accomplish would be to confirm to the senders that they do have my correct email address, thus encouraging them to send me even more unwanted email.
Dear Various Queer Dating Services and Any Other Capitalist Ventures Who Have Been Requesting to Be Advertised on My Website,

I think you should know that websites tend overwhelmingly to be written by people who have spent more than two hours in their life using the Internet. I think you should also know that it is impossible for anyone who has spent even two minutes in their life using the Internet to have not yet discovered the existence of banner ads. So, since you say that you noticed that my website does not contain any banner ads, shouldn't you really be able to figure out that this is obviously not a mere accidental oversight attributable to my not realizing that I have the ability to deface my website in that way???

Yes, my website has a ".com" suffix. This is primarily due to the fact that if I had chosen any other suffix, 99% of the population would have defaulted to typing in ".com" all the time anyway, and then some really icky and offensive porn site would have moved into the ".com" variation and assaulted my visitors' poor eyes all the time. It is also secondarily due to the fact that I do not actually have an absolute policy against linking to any profit-making ventures of any kind. But! I do have an absolute policy against linking to any profit-making ventures unless they are every bit as totally relevant to the subject of my website as any of the non-profit-making ventures I link to. The subject of my website is the promotion of queer by choice ideas. It is a very specific subject. I do not link to general-interest queer websites that do not mention anything about choice, or that mention them only to argue against them, and so on. I do not link to them ever, no matter whether they are profit-making or not. I have nothing against general-interest queer websites that do not mention choice; I read some of them and enjoy some of them and am glad they're around. But they are not sufficiently related to the topic of my website to merit me linking to them. Neither are any of your for-profit ventures.

Now, if you were really all that interested in persuading me to link to your queer dating services or your queer pride jewelry stores or whatever else, you would not need to pay me a thing. All you would need to do would be to promote queer by choice ideas on your website. It could be an article, or a little checkbox in your dating search engine for "Queer by Choice seeking Queer by Choice," or anything you feel like! And then I would link to you although I might bury the link on the 23rd page of an impossibly long list of other links so that no one would ever click on it. I would especially make sure to do this if your website still annoyed me for other reasons, such as that just like every other supposedly queer dating service in the world, your website was obviously designed by ignorant heterosexuals, since you do not provide any checkboxes to indicate the specific sexual preference of the people we are seeking instead of merely whether they are interested in our gender. It is really not all that rare for lesbians not to wish to date bisexual women, and despite whatever reservations I may have about the reasons that some of them give for that, I must say, speaking myself as a bisexual woman who does not wish to date heterosexual men, that preventing us from specifying any of this renders your entire service pretty near useless to us. So go ahead, let's just see how many nanoseconds' consideration you bother giving to this opportunity to prove you actually meant a single word of that nonsense you just spewed to me about having supposedly read my website and appreciated it ever so much and feeling that your readers would really appreciate it too.

Sincerely,
Gayle
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