Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin

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Gardening Frustrations

My gardening efforts are not going well. The fuchsia, blue flax, and monkeyflower that I bought most of a month ago all look like they're on the brink of death now. And the yard remains full of foxtails, no matter how many of them I pull. I'm having fantasies of somehow hauling several feet of rocks and sand and mulch and anything else that I know for sure has no weed seeds in it already into Susan's back yard and just completely burying everything that's there right now and starting over. I don't know how else to get rid of the stupid weeds! The dirt is wonderful, but I think maybe it's too wonderful, because the weeds love it too much. I think I want to try gardening in adobe bricks instead. Or serpentine. Or any of the other soils that practically nothing in the world can grow in. I think the change would be refreshing. Short of that, I think I need so much of the strongest, most horrible herbicides available that I could flood the whole yard with herbicide in a huge pool up to the height of the fence and just let it wallow in that for a year, and at the end of the year maybe I could have the yard classified as a toxic Superfund site so the federal government would clean it up for me and then when they were done I could finally grow plants other than weeds.
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