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Queer by Choice

Gayle Madwin's Journal

Created on 2001-07-02 00:10:25 (#218786), last updated 2009-11-19

16,296 comments received, 22,745 comments posted, 10 Support Points

2,411 Journal Entries, 19 Tags, 13 Memories, 2,400+ ScrapBook Files, 0 Virtual Gifts, 20 Userpics

Basic Info
Name:Gayle Madwin
Birthdate:1976-07-20
Location:Marysville, California, United States
Website:QueerByChoice.com
Bio
I decided to convert from heterosexuality to bisexuality one Sunday evening in the spring of 1992, when I was 15. I'm the founder and owner of the QueerByChoice.com website, the QueerByChoice Mailing List, and the [info]queerchoice LiveJournal Community.

I'm the primary person responsible for a year-long daily letter-writing campaign that finally succeeded, in November 2000, in persuading PFLAG to abolish their 11-year-old international policy which had previously stated that "sexual orientation is not a choice." I've occasionally been interviewed for neat little newspaper and magazine articles like "Queer by Choice?" by Kim Ficera in May 2000, "Choosy Gays, Selected Straights: Are Erotic Tastes Willed?" by Jim D'Entremont in July 2001, and Queer by Choice: Gay Forum Question Puts Spotlight on Politics of Sexual Orientation" by Dyana Bagby in August 2007, as well as in radio interviews such as "Queer by Choice" with Dr. J. Hughes in October 2001 and on the Derek & Romaine Show on SiriusOutQ Radio in June 2003. My website was also reviewed in the June 2003 issue of Curve magazine and mentioned in the article "The Unbearable Lightness of Choosing" by Jon Spayde in the June 2003 issue of Utne Reader.

I have the most wonderful fiancée in the world, and her name is [info]susanlizr. We got engaged while same-sex marriage was legal, but the courts didn't finalize her dissolution of domestic partnership with her ex in time for us to get married before Proposition 8. Still, I moved in with her in January 2009, and now we have one cat named Stardust (originally mine), two dogs named Boston and Ganymede (Boston originally hers, Ganymede originally ours), one mouse named Pat (originally ours), and at last count, 8 fish (not named, also originally ours). We also have a mostly native garden with these mostly native plants in it. However, while I was still in the middle of moving in with her, I got laid off from my job as an editor. I've had a few short-term, part-time jobs since then, but mostly I've been looking for a job ever since.

Things I like are listed in my interests list. Things I don't like include:
  • violence (including war; genocide; rape; torture; capitalist exploitation of the poor by the rich; corporal punishment; failure to institute national health insurance; global warming; imperialism; and carving up the sex organs of boy babies, intersex babies, and third-world girl children)
  • prejudice (including ableism, ageism, classism, heterosexism, nationalism, racism, sexism, and sizeism)
  • beauty standards (including fatphobia, shaving, makeup, high heels, and cosmetic surgery)
  • censorship (there can be no democracy without the free exchange of information - and by the way, capital punishment is a form of censoring people too!)
  • majority votes about minority rights (including votes about same-sex marriage, affirmative action, and immigration)
  • binary concepts of consent (the fact that a person will let you do something to them does not mean it is automatically perfectly fine for you to do it to them; the person may not be freely giving informed consent because the person may not be aware of or have access to other, more desirable options)
  • endless repetitions of arguments I've already heard before (if your argument is something that might be addressed on my website, please just go read my website instead of expecting me to individually retype everything on it for the 5,000th time)
  • religion, pseudoscience, and superstition (my fiancée is the kind of lifelong atheist who finds religion fascinating to read about, but I'm the kind of lifelong atheist who finds it deathly dull)
  • nihilism (there may be no objective purpose to your existence, but if you care about any of your fellow human beings then there is a plenty important subjective purpose, and I see nothing inadequate about that)
  • noisy vacuum cleaners (my cat and I are in perfect agreement on this one)
  • restaurants (I'm much too miserly and unsociable for them, and I have nowhere near an adequately developed palate to feel that the food is worth the price)
  • self-injury (including self-insult, mind-altering drugs, piercings, tattoos, bdsm, and unsafe sex)
  • television and movies (okay, my fiancée watches enough of them while I'm in the same room that I confess to mildly enjoying them occasionally, but when I lived alone I never watched them and if I lived alone now I still wouldn't)
  • vegetables (except potatoes and corn)
Please note: I do read every entry by everyone on my LiveJournal friends list. I do not filter any of them out.

Also, if you really want to be added to my LiveJournal friends list, you can be! I always add everyone to my friends list who has joined my QueerByChoice Mailing List in addition to adding me to their friends list. If you are a member of my mailing list who has added me and I have not added you back, then I am not aware that you are a member of my mailing list. Please do tell me that you are - I want to know about it so I'll know to add you!
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Interests (149):

adolf brand, adrienne rich, aesthetic theory, affirmative action, amy bloom, anchee min, anne fausto-sterling, annie dillard, arundhati roy, atheism, audiences, audre lorde, bisexuality, blue man group, body nonmodification, bonobos, boycotting lj sponsors, buying a house, california native plants, caryl churchill, cats, chang-rae lee, children's rights, choosing to be queer, christopher isherwood, circle skirts, critical race theory, cyberculture, dalton trumbo, david bowie, david halperin, de-eroticizing violence, dictionaries, disabled rights, drag, e. e. cummings, editing, edmund white, edwidge danticat, electronic frontier foundation, elie wiesel, emily dickinson, emotional intimacy, equalizing media access, ethics, eve kosofsky sedgwick, feminism, fighting sociobiology, first amendment, fluid sexuality, forthrightness, free speech, frugality, gabriel garcía márquez, gayl jones, gender abolition, genderfree pronouns, gertrude stein, haruki murakami, hermits, howard buten, human rights, informed consent, intactivism, internal beauty, international baccalaureate, james baldwin, jennifer terry, joanna russ, john irving, john p. de cecco, kate millett, khaled hosseini, kobo abe, kraftwerk, landscape design, langston hughes, larry kramer, li yu, libraries, lillian faderman, lindsy van gelder, logical consistency, louise erdrich, margaret atwood, maria mccann, mary gaitskill, mary renault, maya angelou, michel foucault, milan kundera, minnie bruce pratt, minority rights, monique truong, morrissey, native plants, nella larsen, noam chomsky, norman mailer, not shaving, online relationships, pansexuality, pasta-roni, pat barker, patti smith, paul beatty, peace, peace and freedom party, peak oil, pearl cleage, pet shop boys, peter høeg, philip gourevitch, placebo, polari, pomosexuality, potato candy, pramoedya ananta toer, primatology, privacy rights, queer by choice, queer theory, queerness, r.e.m., ralph ellison, reproductive freedom, richard wright, ruth hubbard, salam pax, salman rushdie, sapiosexuality, self-love, self-sufficiency, sewing, sherman alexie, social constructionism, solitude, spanish, stephen jay gould, susan griffin, teetotalling, tim wise, tony kushner, transvestism, ursula hegi, ursula k. le guin, watercolor, william byne, xeriscaping
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1angelette, aesiron, afro76, aliendreamer, amanda_mary, anna_asrai, archimedes314, ariiadne, arlan_bishop, arsenothelys, asrai_d, bay_bus_rider, belenen, bezier, blahflowers, blindcreator, blog_project, bpt, byrdiebotany, c_in_hiding, cacahuate, cantstopthedawn, cathea, chaiwala, charliegrrrl, ciarajanae, damonariadne, darthlorexa, deadinmotion, demonista, disi, dobrovolets, dora_baggins, dragged_up, dragort, drytown, dzuunmod, e_frank, electronblue, erdbeermund, esk, experimentego, exterra, fflo, frankepi, freshavocado, friendlyheretic, frou_frou_dyke, gamesiplay, gaylemadwin, girlslovegirls7, glaivelace, greenshadows, hansel25, heron61, hexan_brat, homoooo, huasteca, india_felinespy, ingole, inkstained, insipidity, intheshadows, jaq, jeremytblack, jet, jillc, joannasatana, juanoclock, kejlina, keryx, kethylia, kristinss, lala_annie, laurenhat, leex, legolastn, lentrot, lhyc, lique, liquidjewel, lm, lovelyoven, mariness, melishma, mira_kitty, misterkiddo, misterkrista, morningloryblue, nevernever, normlessness, orangebeaver, ourchair, prairiecity, princesswitch, queerbychoice, quixotic, ra_sar, rampling, razakel, read_o_rama, rekraft, revvers, rhekarid, sadboyq, safiiru, sammka, sarars, saxifrage, seifaiden, she_evolves, socialismnow, spiritofnow, striving_being, stupidmansuit86, subtleparadox, susanlizr, tentertaining, thelala, thelittlesthomo, theobscure, theory_girl, thezerosystem, trysha, under_volcano, undertheteacup, uterinelining, voyagerquotes, woo2step, yareach, yourapple, zdamiana

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36, _eye_added_yuo_, _ilia_, _tofulover, abulafias_down, allyscully, allyx, amethystical, andyleggett, bbkahuna, bjorkcrazygay, black_pearl, blackisgreenis, blue_adagio, bootdoodle, boyfunk, brigidsblest, bypolonius, cappucinogrrl, cinderellaman, confesstome, consortium, coyotegoth, dancing_mage, deconstructya, dildobucket, dine, discoflamingo, dissolving, dj_cut_out, djm4, elvenwren, emilys, eslington, eternuslux, evanpoop, faintpraise, felixthequeer, freedomreigns, fyreharper, gloriajn, havok_wolf, hootandflutter, iadork4life, ihatesnape, imester, inthealong, isolawilde, jadyz, javagirle, jcspd, jessemaru, jkatj, kalte, kay420, killerlidya, kimyki, kurohime, lacci, ladydarkraven, language_idling, leonid_zash, loveislife, madfrog, marchingbandx, mary52, meaning_making, medusaofticun, memevector, mikester, mobledqueen, mousevision, muselistener, nishat21, no_pussyfooting, nodesignation, noog, noplacelikehome, nouveau_prole, novalis, onetwelve, onewordmore, personunknow, picassolette, pinguin, pixiegrrrl, placenta, poetryhaiku, postmodern_king, priedpeesh, proximart, purple_umbrella, q10, quamono, quartney_love, rachelkb, rayesa, reddawn, refinancing, reginalexandra, revel, roxy641, ruggerchickfite, safetypingirl, sailing_zephyr, sammkavagina, sasuke_, scuppino, sheamues, shehasathree, shiny_albert, shrtkid5, somebodies, sorrtaoutthere, soulmyst, spee, spreadsothin, stars_and_rain, tarahdise, tbsyummyadam, tenkiya, thaisa, thessaliad, timewornsoul, tokki, toppermost, transientdyke, tristissima, tsenft, typicalemobitch, uko_chan, vixen_84, vyastik, wanderingrogue, whadda, winter_ayars, xkcd, xlostinthoughtx, zombiegirl
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916_represent, abolishgender, adbusters, adriennerich, alanwilder, alice_walker, altmarriage, anarchoqueer, anchee_min, androgyne_rage, anti_esso, anti_racism, anti_sweatshop, antisponsoredlj, antitheism, antiwar, aprende_espanol, askpoly, atheism, atheist, babies_on_fire, bi_the_bay, bibliophilia, bifriends, biggaybooks, bisexual_world, bjorkish, blog_sociology, body_positive, book_worm, bookish, books, booksnob, bothroads, bowie_art, bowie_berlin, bowie_daily, bowie_fileshare, bowie_icons, bowie_speaking, bowiefansunited, brian_molko, cali_gardens, cat_macros, classiclit, copy_editors, cranky_editors, csus, culturalanthro, darfur_crisis, dbowie, debunkingwhite, dennis_cooper, editorsupport, edmundwhite, edna_millay, egalitarian_sex, enophiles, fact_checking, feedback, feminist_lit, feministbooks, footpain, freeplants, fuck_shaving, fuck_the_draft, fun_with_polari, fuzzyfaces, gardening, gay_marriage, gaybay, gaygardeners, gender_theory, genderfuck, genemyth, gertrudes_salon, glbt_books, glbtq, gorevidal, gotscoliosis, grammar_whores, grammarpolice, greatpoets, guerillanews, guerillatics, hairypits, hip_domestics, hothead_paisan, ibscrewed, intbac, intergender, j_joyce, jeangenetcircle, john_irving, julnawrimo, julnowrimo, kissmyass_cosmo, lgbt_intellect, librophilia, libros, lit_addicts, literary_theory, literaryagents, livejardin, lj_nifty, lj_spotlight, ljspeaks, ljunited, lmpoetrypost, maryrenault, meta_lj, metal_guru, michelfoucault, miralomahs, mission101, mixed_metaphors, modern_poetry, murakami, nabokovia, no_lj_ads, noamchomsky_, nor_cal, norcalgardening, note_from_cat, note_to_cat, notopsnobottoms, pabloneruda, paidmembers, palahniuk, pallas_athena, paragraphone, pattismith, petcare, petshopboys, photochallenge, picturecontest, po_co, political_queer, printpublishing, pro_choice, prose_poem, queer, queer_rage, queeractivism, queerchoice, queerfiction, queergirlbooks, queergirlsbooks, queerhistory, queertheory, queerthinktank, rad_fem, radaware, radicallyqueer, radicalreads, rapidreaders, readabook, readandtell, religion_free, rubyfruitjungle, rufus_fans, rural_queers, rural_ruin, sac_lesbians, sacto_pics, salmanrushdie, sapiosexual, sapphicscribes, seed_swap, seedsavers, sewing, she_bears, socialists, socialistworker, soft_cell, spelling_snobs, strangeways, stuck_in_sacto, sustainability, sxe_grownups, sylvia_plath, talkaboutbooks, techwriting, the_lj_bookclub, the_smiths, thecure, thereadingroom, thesexualsocial, tommaso, transvestism, ts_eliot, umbertoeco, undead_authors, unitedradicals, village_voice, vonnegutchamps, whatsinyours, whileaway, womensbookclub, writingstories
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buggerydotorg, cagardennatives, doonesburyfeed, dorktowerfeed, drystonegarden, gardenpunks, gardgonewld, heynatives, lostinlandscape, modrnwrld_comic, mudfencegarden, myback40, ncoastgardening, outofdoorsblog, philipsgarden, red_polka, rentedgarden, rooted_in_calif, sandpaperletter, seedbyte, seedtotable, snopes_dot_com, sunsetfreshdirt, tedrall_cartoon, toofrank, towncountrymice, two_gardens, wildsuburbia, xkcd_rss
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