Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin

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Alien Toaster

So I have this toaster with a mind of its own. Often when I put bread in it, it pops back up in only two seconds, still cold. I press the button down again and it pops up in another two seconds. I repeat the process as many as 15 times in a row, but the toaster just refuses to toast. Eventually I give up. Then another day I put bread in it and walk away and forget about it, and five minutes later the bread pops up all blackened and smoking.

It's been switching back and forth between these behaviors for at least six months now. It's not like I can't afford to replace it, or like it would be a terrible bother to do so. It's just that when my toaster develops a mind of its own, I feel like I should spend some time trying to get along with it, instead of just murdering it the first time its opinions become inconvenient to me.

Today I patiently pressed the button back down four times and then it miraculously decided to cooperate and toasted my bread just perfectly. Now I'm eating a delicious grape jelly sandwich.
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