Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin
queerbychoice

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The Human Virus Scanner

I have to thank Arhuaine for introducing me to the Human Virus Scanner, because it's the most interesting online personality quiz I've seen in quite a while. Here are my results:

Viruses you suffer from:

Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

Sci-fi
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

Politics
Stop caring!

Hippyism
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
[What's patchouli? I must not be infected with this or I'd know the answer.]

Environmentalism
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Religion
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
[Um. Considering I've been an atheist all my life, if I'm infected with the religion virus then nobody's safe.]


Viruses you might suffer from:

Free BSD (90%)
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
[I've never used Free BSD in my life. I've just visited websites that plaster its logos everywhere, that's all.]

Macintosh (80%)
Use a mouse with more than one button.
[When in college I used the Macintosh computer labs far more often than the PC labs just because they were usually less crowded. But I've never actually owned a Macintosh.]

Linux (80%)
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
[Same comment as for Free BSD. Plus a question: why is Windows the only at all popular operating system not listed as a virus? Who wrote this virus scanner - the Microsoft Corporation?]

Brand Names (75%)
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.

Industrial (70%)
Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.

USA (70%)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
[Ah, but for someone who's never lived anywhere else, I must be relatively uninfected. I mean, Arhuaine's British and she scored as being more infected by the USA than I did.]

Conspiracy Theory (65%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.

Discordia (60%)
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's, they don't crackle.
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