My counter's statistics are sadly less amusing than usual this week, consisting mostly of soul-searching questions like "why am afraid of being attracted to members of the opposite sex" and "how to make love to queer," and similar issues like "women attracted to men who dress" (yeah, that's the problem with men: they insist on getting dressed sometimes, when all we want is for them to stay naked, barefoot and pregnant . . .). The only humorous phrase I can find at all this week is this one: "boston glory pants hole." Pants hole?
Dear Severely Confused Person,
No, no, no, no! You're supposed to cut the glory hole into the walls of the stall, not into the front of your pants!!!