I want to scream and throw things, or cry, but I'm too civilized to do either so that just leaves me with no outlet.
My @#$%^&*! idiotic apartment people did not fix my air conditioner on Thursday, and even though they're @#$%^&*! supposed to work until 5:00 p.m., they'd already left by the time I got home at 4:40 p.m. so I couldn't ask them why. So I get home again today and it's @#$%^&*! still 95 degrees in here, and I go to the rental office and demand to know why, and the @#$%^&*! idiots shuffle through their stupid @#$%^&*! paperwork for a few minutes and inform me that the whole thing needs to be replaced and it's going to take a few days to get the parts, except then they go, "Wait a minute, that's not you, you're this one, and the problem in this one is - oh, well, see, the air conditioner inspection person arrived on Thursday but he couldn't go inside because he didn't have your permission to enter."
ONLY. ON. ABOUT. TEN. @#$%^&*! MILLION. FORMS. I'VE. SIGNED. OVER. THE. PAST. THREE. YEARS. I'VE LIVED. HERE. PLUS. ON. THE. @#$%^&*! NOTE. I. SHOVED. THROUGH. YOUR. RENT. DROP. SLOT. THURSDAY. MORNING. SINCE. YOU. WEREN'T. AT. WORK. AT. THE. TIME. YOU. WERE. SUPPOSED. TO. BE. YOU. FUCKING @#$%^&*! UNBELIEVABLE IDIOTS DAMN. YOU!!!!!!
Apartment Management Idiot: We . . . oh. Hmm. We . . . well. We got, see, we got a new . . . maintenance company, see? And. And, like. Well. Because they don't, see, well, they don't have the, you know. They don't have the signed forms. So.
NOR. DID. YOU. POSESS. SUFFICIENT. @#$%^&*! INTELLIGENCE. TO. @#$%^&*! FIGURE. OUT. THAT. I. MIGHT. BE. IN. SOMETHING. OF. A. @#$%^&*! HURRY. TO. GET. MY. @#$%^&*! AIR. CONDITIONER. FIXED. ON. A. WEEK. WHEN. IT'S. BEEN. 100. FUCKING. @#$%^&*! DEGREES. AND. THAT. THEREFORE. YOU. SHOULD. TRY. MAYBE. FUCKING @#$%^&*! CALLING. ME. AT. WORK. WITH. THOSE. PHONE. NUMBERS. I. KNOW. YOU. HAVE. ON. FILE. OR. EVEN. FUCKING. @#$%^&*! LEAVING. A. SIMPLE. @#$%^&*! NOTE. ON. MY. @#$%^&*! FRONT. DOOR. LIKE. YOU. ARE. SO. GOOD. AT DOING. WHENEVER. YOU. WANT. TO. NOTIFY. ME. THAT. THE. @#$%^&*! RENT. HAS. INCREASED. ANOTHER @#$%^&*! TIME.
Note: in reality I did not say any of this, because I am, as previously mentioned, ridiculously overcivilized to an extremely inconvenient extent. I did, however, roll my eyes emphatically and sigh loudly.
Apartment Management Idiot: We . . . oh. Hmm. We . . . well. Because, see, it's, like, the, you know, weekend, now. And, like. We'll, you know. We'll call them, see. And they'll, you know. They'll be here.
Apartment Management Idiot: Well . . . oh. Hmm. You know, like. Monday. See?
Me: [*****GLARE. SNARL. GNASHING OF TEETH.****]
Apartment Management Idiot: But the weather's supposed to be very nice this weekend!
HOW. ABOUT. IF. WE. TRADE. RESIDENCES. FOR. THE. WEEKEND. THEN. AND. YOU. CAN. SIT. AROUND. ENJOYING. THE. OH. SO. NICE. WEATHER. IN. THE. ABSENCE. OF. AN. AIR. CONDITIONER.
In other news, my @#$%^&*! $12,000 car doesn't even get @#$%^&*! FM radio, and the CD player does not possess "skip forward" or "skip backwards" capability. This is despite the fact that all the buttons which are supposed to switch to FM, skip forwards and skip backwards do exist, and also despite the fact that the people selling me the car specifically said it possessed AM/FM radio and I even looked at the buttons to make sure before I bought it, because my previous car only had AM radio and I have done without FM radio for quite long enough already.
Again, I want to scream and throw things, or cry.