Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin

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Conversation from the #QueerByChoice Chatroom Last Sunday

Ink says: i just do weird obsessive compulsive things
Ink says: i trace outlines with my eyes obsessively
Ink says: stupid stuff like that
Gayle says: i destroy furniture obsessively. that's my only obsessive-compulsive type of behavior.
Ink says: lol
Ink says: that doesn't count
Gayle says: i only destroy it if it's flawed.
Gayle says: if there's a scratch in the finish anywhere i become obsessed with the scratch and am compelled to scrape off ALL the finish to try to even it out.
Ink says: oh yeah you do do that
Ink says: you destroy books if they're flawed
Ink says: that is obsessive compulsive
Gayle says: yes
Gayle says: when I noticed a Salman Rushdie book of mine had a tear in the laminate on its cover, I had to tear ALL the laminate off
Gayle says: and when i had a watch with a cloth watchband and a thread came loose, i compulsively unraveled the WHOLE watchband
JasonGrrrl says: lol, what about girl/boyfriends?
Gayle says: HAHAHAHAHA
Gayle says: don't tell jeremy! i shall unravel him if i ever find a flaw!

. . .

The reason that conversation came to mind today and inspired me to dig out the transcript to post here is that I destroyed a massive new piece of furniture today. A little over a week ago I spilled something on my computer desk which left behind a tiny little warped spot in the wood finish. Today I started scraping at the tiny little flaw with a knife until I'd enlarged it to a four square inch area of badly scraped up finish, and then I got out the sanpaper and removed all the finish from the entire desk. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with it now that it has no finish. I don't think I'm planning to leave it like this, so I guess I must be planning to cover it up with something. That leaves me a lot of options. I shall turn it a new color. I shall turn it purple! I'm just not sure with what yet. It needs to be more waterproof this time around. Recommendations, anyone?

I really don't think I've ever been tempted to unravel a human being, though. I'm generally pretty clear on the distinction between people and property, and on the fact that I have a right to compulsively destroy my own flawed property but not to compulsively destroy people.

It does come to mind as something I should have added to the list I posted a while back of "reasons not to be in a relationship with me," though. I think you can pretty well trust that I won't try to unravel you, but it could still be severely inconvenient to share furniture with someone who compulsively destroys large expensive computer desks on a random whim anytime the finish gets microscopically marred. And just ask my parents what monstrosities I inflicted upon the walls, furniture and carpet of my childhood bedroom.
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