Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin

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It is not reasonable of me to spend hours sulking over not being the second or third favorite person of my own second or third favorite people, when at least I have the fantastic luck to have a first favorite person whose priorities are in much better order. Besides which, at least my second and third favorite people generally like me. I'm probably in their Top 25 or so. And I'm probably other people's second or third favorite people and I fail to rank those people as my own second or third favorites.

It is not reasonable of me to feel stupid just because my LJ friends list contains numerous geniuses who know vast amounts of world history whereas I'm one of those people who never took much notice of the rest of the world until September 11th when I decided that if people out there are trying to murder me just for being an American, I should at least bother to find out what it is that I'm going to be murdered for.

It is not reasonable of me to be severely irritated at myself for not doing various things, yet continue to not do them.

It is not reasonable of me to doubt whether I'm good enough for other people when really I still know that if I met a carbon copy of me, I'd find that copy to be way more than plenty good enough for me.

It is not reasonable of me to be so unhappy over so many small things when there are so many so much larger things I should be happy about.

I was ecstatically happy for most of Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, but considerably aggravated for most of Wednesday and Friday. It is not reasonable for tiny insignificant things to make such a difference.

It is not reasonable of me to be annoyed at my own lack of energy right now yet fail to go to bed and get some sleep.

I am going to sleep now.
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