Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin
queerbychoice

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Drunk People

I don't like drunk people! I do not like drunk people at allllllllll. DRUNK PEOPLE ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF ME. They repeat every single sentence no less than ten times in a row, often twenty, because they just automatically assume that everyone they're with is just as mentally impaired as they are and therefore cannot understand a simple sentence until it has been repeated at least ten times. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that whoever invented the phrase "bored to tears" was inspired to invent it by being stuck in the company of a drunk person.

I do not permit my friends to drink alcohol in front of me. I tell them that if they take a sip of alcohol I am leaving. I will not go to any social function at which alcohol is present. I will not allow alcohol into my residence. If you sign onto AIM drunk and try to talk to me, I will very likely sign off immediately, unless there are other people I'm trying to talk to so I can't leave, in which case I will merely find you to be acting distressingly stupid, and I will very likely tell you so.

I do not like drunk people. Perhaps if I repeat this sentence enough times in one journal entry even the drunk people will figure out what I'm saying? I try very hard to structure my life in such a way that I never have to come into contact with anyone during the time periods when they are choosing to be drunk. Sensible people are able to work with me on this. I'm not trying to take away their alcohol; it's just that alcohol and I are sworn lifelong enemies so if you want to carry on relationships with both of us at the same time, you're just going to have to have the good sense to never invite us over at the same time as one another. Most people are able to accept those terms. Just not my parents.

I've already threatened never to visit them again. That caused them to invite the alcohol and me over on separate days for a while. But now it's somehow slid back toward the old ways of doing things. It isn't like my father drinks alcohol at dinner every day of the year either. He drinks it mainly on special occasions. It's just that "special occasions" happens to be very inconveniently defined as "whenever Cynthia visits." HELLO, I WOULD LIKE YOU A WHOLE LOT BETTER IF I EVER GOT TO CONVERSE WITH YOU WITHOUT YOUR BRAIN FUNCTIONING IMPAIRED.

I feel like I've just spent the whole evening with a bunch of poison oak leaves rubbing against the surface of my brain.
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