My current bruise, however, has broken all the rules. I felt a sudden soreness in my knee when I had been doing nothing but sitting still; I looked down and felt the painful spot wondering what had happened and why I felt all bruised. Ten minutes later the four inch long monstrosity you see below began to reveal itself through my skin.
It actually stopped hurting after the first hour or so, which bruises from bumping into things certainly never do. However, it's the most outlandish-looking bruise I've seen in quite a long time, and the ability of my body to spontaneously produce such elaborate works of art without any physical force having been applied to the area in question is sort of disturbing.