Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin

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Native Son

This is what foolishness I am capable of: I found myself overwhelmed with all the disturbing things the human beings around me are capable of, so I shut them all out and buried myself under the covers with a book to relax. But not just any book, no! I buried myself under the covers with Richard Wright's Native Son, to "relax." And then an hour or so later I got to the part where Bigger Thomas accidentally strangles to death his boss's daughter on his very first day on the job, which is so unreal that I can't even process that it's really happened, surely he's just imagining it, but then not only that but in his panic to not get caught he bloodily decapitates her body in order to fit it into her parents' furnace and try to burn it into nonexistence - and at this point I'm sitting straight up trying to figure out how to back away slowly from the scary book even at the same time that I'm too transfixed with horror to put it down, but then the backing away and reading at the same time doesn't work so I choose the backing away, I fling the book on the floor and run away to the diagonal other end of my one-room apartment, the furthest away from that book I can get, and look around in a panic for anything at all to distract me from the disturbing things the human beings in books are capable of. And all that's left to distract me are the same human beings around me who I was trying to escape by reading the book in the first place. I don't know where to run.

Clearly this is not my day.
Tags: books
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