Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin

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I drove to Vallejo to see my grandparents for a combination celebration of my mother's birthday (which was yesterday) and Easter, and I even managed to find my way back home this time without taking a wrong turn onto the freeway and ending up on the Bay Bridge and having to pay the toll. I don't understand how S.F. Bay Area residents can stand all the toll bridges and toll roads there; every time I have to drive near one I get lost and end up driving in circles crossing the same toll roads sixteen times and it makes me utterly crazy. But not today! Today I managed to drive in the correct direction. Go me.

Then I drove back home in the dark thinking about how pleased I am with my beautiful car which I have owned for almost a year now, how nice it is to own a real car purchased from a real car dealer with real money earned by myself from a real job of my own and it is all paid for so no one can ever take it away from me and it is such a good car that always does anything I ask of it and never lets me down. I was thinking about what a wise purchase my car was, but then I started thinking about other big decisions in my life and about how I am not half so pleased with my apartment as I am with my car, and really I would have been much wiser if I had simply bought a condominium the first day I moved out on my own, instead of renting an apartment. My parents said that renting was the logical and necessary first step when you first move out. I should not have listened to them. I definitely wish I had bought a condominium instead. My neighborhood is pleasing enough - poor enough that I can trust that hardly any of my neighbors are Republicans, but not quite poor enough for drive-by shootings to be a problem (okay, there was an attempted murder by knife-stabbing on the other side of my kitchen wall a month after I moved in, but at least if knives are the murder weapons of choice around here I am at relatively low risk of getting caught in the crossfire and accidentally murdered by someone who actually meant to murder somebody else) - but the physical structure of the building itself that I have been living in for the past four years has done nothing but terrorize and harass me with maintenance problems from the very first day, and the fact that I don't even get any permanent ownership out of all the rent money I've paid aggravates me increasingly.

Anyway, then I got home and apparently my apartment somehow knew about the disloyal thoughts I had been having about it, because the toilet chain that connects the handle to the flushing thing inside promptly broke, and my amateur plumbing explorations revealed that a piece is broken and shall need to be replaced, and also the pipes in the kitchen appear to have sprung a slow leak, and basically the whole place is self-destructing and I want out. Erghh.

And I also want to just go to sleep right now and not have to deal with this. But instead I have to attempt to make the place semi-presentable-looking so I can invite the repair guy to invade all my private spaces and fix the damn thing.

Perhaps if I just exchanged my computer for a laptop I could manage to just live in my car instead.
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