Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin

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My body has been acting abnormally sluggish for the past week and I have been anxiously trying to discern whether it's due to dehydration, sleep deprivation, both, or perhaps something else as well. The room fades in and out, I sway on my feet, the lights seem to grow dim, I'm too tired to lift my limbs. This evening I suddenly realized that the weather has been very much warmer this week than last week: summer is starting to approach. It's getting to me. My body has never done well in Sacramento heat, and the change of weather was more sudden this year than in a lot of years so my body hasn't had time to begin trying to adjust properly yet.

It is dehydration in part that enables the heat to affect me so much, but my stomach just doesn't seem to hold enough fluids to keep me properly hydrated in this weather. I physically can't bear to drink more than I already do, and it isn't enough. So instead of drinking more, I put ice cubes on my head and let them melt upon me. It helps a little, but . . . I want the winter back.

My parents have been talking about whether their fifteen-year-old golden retriever will survive the summer; she's always been just as miserable in hot weather as I am, and in dog years this dog is the equivalent of about a hundred and two years old now. (My parents also have a fifteen-year-old cat; they're practically running a pet nursing home these days.) But every summer while the dog has been miserable in the heat, I've always known how she felt. And right now, I feel like this summer I'm going to find out what it feels like to finally die of the heat.
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