Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin
queerbychoice

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Reasons for Living

An excerpt from my AIM chat last night, the same one I wrote about in my previous journal entry. In the transcript I've changed the AIM name of the person I was chatting with to protect his privacy.


QBC 101: what do you live for?
XYZ: today.... love
QBC 101: for who?
XYZ: my BF and GF
QBC 101: oh, you have two!
QBC 101: i have a best friend who i love but i don't live for my love of him
QBC 101: i live for my love of . . . an imaginary person just like me who will be born someday
QBC 101: i want to live long enough to write things down that will help the next me to not be so lonely as i have been
QBC 101: that's mainly why i live
QBC 101: and why i wouldn't risk death for anybody else until i have done all i can for the imaginary future 'me's of coming generations
QBC 101: does that make any sense?
QBC 101: i have a lot of faith that there are other people out there who i haven't met who need to hear my words
XYZ: it does.... but I'm a "victim of circumstance" I have developed by others and environment.... I would never want to have another person come up as I have
QBC 101: it's not a matter of wanting
QBC 101: it's a matter of knowing that others WILL
QBC 101: there will continue to be victims of circumstance
QBC 101: we are all victims of circumstance
QBC 101: nobody ever lives their whole life without some things happening to them that they really really did not want to have happen
QBC 101: i don't think so, anyway.
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