I just heard the most excruciatingly awful cover version of David Bowie's "Heroes" on my coworkers' radio. It sounded like the kind of cover version that would be produced if, let's see . . . Celine Dion, Michael Bolton, and a random baseball-stadium announcer who just shouts sentences with no attempt at a tune all got together and collaborated on it. Who the hell is responsible for this atrocity?