Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin
queerbychoice

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Hello

I've been exceptionally happy for the past couple of days. It seems to have been set off primarily by receiving email from Sage, even though it wasn't even a "real" email exactly but just a promise to write me a "real" email later. But that's sufficient reason for happiness because Sage has consistently been an exceptionally responsive correspondent and thus I know he will write when he has time. Also, really the reason I wrote to him was that not having heard anything from him in a little while caused me to be suddenly seized by a fear that I might have offended him when I criticized him a few weeks ago, but because I am truly awful at humbling myself and apologizing to anyone (whereas Sage is exceptionally good at never apologizing either annoyingly often or annoyingly insufficiently) I just wrote to ask how he was, which really meant "I want to know if you're mad at me but I don't want to ask if you are because that might imply that I might have done something wrong," and anyway he responded in an extremely un-mad-sounding manner so since then I have been nonstop overjoyed. Because it is important to be able to voice criticisms, but it is also important to not alienate dear friends while doing so.

1. What is your middle name?
Gayle. My first name is the one you're (slightly) less likely to know, and that's Cynthia.

2. If you had been born the other sex, did your parents tell you what your name would have been?
Paul, like my brother's. But I think the middle name would have been Vincent, whereas his is Gregory.

3. Do you have children and if so, what are their names?
No.

4. If you were to ever have a child or more children, what would you name them?
Um, there's plenty of time for naming kids if and when any such kids actually come into existence. In the meantime, when I find names I like, I use them on fictional characters instead.

5. Most people know their mother's maiden name, but do you know your grandmother's maiden name?
Maternal: Copp. Paternal: Green. Now ask me my great grandmothers' maiden names and I'd have more trouble . . . but, um, I'm pretty sure the one on the direct maternal line is Waggoner, and the one on the direct paternal line nobody knows, so I'm not the one responsible for forgetting it. The other two, somebody knows, but I can't currently remember.

6. Did you have an imaginary friend as a child?
Actually, I was bequeathed an imaginary friend by my great-uncle Robert. Its name was Luke the Spook, but I got tired of him and passed him on to my brother. My brother didn't take much interest, so I believe he's available free to a good home now. Anybody want him?

7. What was the name of your first pet?
My parents had a collie named Bonnie when I was born, and an orange tabby cat named Clyde. I can remember Bonnie (she lived until I was eight) but not Clyde. The first cat I can remember is Taffy, a long-haired mostly white calico cat who was apparently catnapped around the time I turned four. (We had two cats at that time, Taffy and a younger kitten named Brian whom I apparently named after a friend from my preschool who I also have no memory of, and both cats vanished the same day, and a neighbor told my mother she saw someone carrying them into a van and driving away with them.)

8. If you have pet(s) now, what are their names?
I don't have pets now. My parents have pets: a dog named Nike who they got last year, and an ancient cat named Daisy who I named when I was about 12.

9. What was the name of the first person you ever kissed?
Flame.

10. What was the name of the school you attended as a child?
The Swing Set Nursery School, Garfield Elementary School, Winston Churchill Middle School, Mira Loma High School, California State University at Sacramento.

11. What was/is the name of your English teacher in high school?
Mrs. Camperi, whose house burned down in the middle of the year and she took an extended leave of absence during which she was replaced by long-term sub Mr. Lathrop; Mr. Pelletier; Ms. Adams; Mr. Pelletier again for Creative Writing, and . . . someone else. I had two English classes my senior year of high school because one was the IB/Honors Literature requirement and one was Creative Writing, but I've forgotten the Honors Lit teacher's name. Hmm. Um, I know who took over the job after I graduated; does that count for anything?

==
SEX SURVEY

*should you ever give a relationship a second chance? -this is a silly question because all relationships involve mistakes of some kind and I think what you really mean is a second chance after there's already been a full breakup. My answer is still yes, though probably not very often.
*have you ever fooled around with a coworker? -no.
*have you ever been pregnant? -no.
*who ended your last relationship? -me.
*would you ever have a relationship with someone 10 or more years older than you? -yes, I already have.
*what are your boyfriend/girlfriend's crimes? -my last androgyne-friend's only real crime is severe all-consuming self-hatred.
*how did you meet your boyfriend or girlfriend? -I've met the last two people-friends through LiveJournal, and the previous two via college.
*what first attracts you to the preferred sex? -their political opinions, and I don't have a preferred sex.
*what's your favourite thing about your guy/girl? -I don't have a guy/girl, or any other kind of person either right now, for that matter. My favorite thing about the last one was eir consistent willingness to talk through problems maturely.
*how many people have you kissed? -four.
what would you change about your boyfriend or girlfriend's bed behaviour? -the last one? I would like em to feel less self-hatred and anxiety, and to realize that ey is desired and that eir sexuality gives eir partners great happiness. Other than that, absolutely nothing whatsoever. :D
*have you ever tied up your partner or been tied up during sex? -no.
*how many sexual partners is too many? -for me or for other people? for what purposes? regardless, this question still does not have a consistent numerical answer.
*have you ever lied to a guy/girl about the number of sexual partners you've had? -no. and not to any other-gendered or genderfree people or adult women either.
*have you ever had phone sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend? -no.
*do you believe in love at first sight? -no, but I believe in love at first LiveJournal-sight. I am a certified geek.
*do you believe in one-night stand potential? -theoretically.
*how long did it take you to fall in love with your most recent boyfriend/girlfriend? -it was far too gradual for time lengths to be measured.
*how important is it that your partner be the same religion as you? -very. No religion allowed!
*which do you think is more important for keeping love alive long-term: trust, honesty, passion or sex? -er, surely honesty is primarily responsible for producing or destroying trust? So, honesty.
*are you friends with your exes? -I'm friends with one, would still be welcomed as friends by two others but do not want them around me, and am spoken highly of by the remaining one even though he is not amenable to contact with me.
*have you ever had sex with an ex? -not unless you count the fact that Justin was my ex for all but the first two days of our entire relationship.
*you've got it bad for your ex's best friend: act on it? -I think my exes would all like that, actually, rather than being jealous. There's a distant possibility that the first two might care, but I really have no reason to care what two not particularly nice people I broke up with six and nine years ago think of my current relationships.
*you meet your sister/brother's new guy/girl and realize he/she's your one-night stand from six months ago: does he/she need to know? -yes, although this situation is impossible to imagine.
*have you ever had sex with someone else while you had a steady boyfriend/girlfriend? -no.
*does kissing another guy/girl count as cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend? -if your partner is under the understanding that you won't do such things, then yes.
*do you consider cybersex to be cheating? -if my partner is under the understanding that I won't do such things.
*would you be unfaithful if you knew your guy/girl would never find out? -this is not imaginable because I can't stand to ever not tell anything to at least my partners and probably a fair number of others too. I could never make it as a serial killer because I would totally feel the need to confess to everyone in sight.
*your boyfriend/girlfriend fesses up to an online affair: do you forgive him? -I can't imagine forbidding anyone to have a strictly online affair in the first place, therefore it wouldn't be cheating on me.
*when do you have the commitment talk? -extremely early.
*does the word "monogamy" scare you? -depends on the context.
*have you ever been to a strip club? -no.
*if your boyfriend wanted you to have a breast enlargement, would you? -hell no. Ditch the creep immediately.
*how do you feel when men/women on the street whistle or compliment you? -"oh look, another stupid person to go make fun of on LiveJournal! it would make a far more entertaining story though if they would say something stupid in actual words that I could quote . . ."
*what would you do if your boyfriend/girlfriend's art/poems/songs/etc sucked? -suggest ways to improve them.
*your boyfriend/girlfriend suggests some role playing and wants to be the pillaging pirate to your saucy wench: what's your reaction? -this sounds like it might be a storyline involving aggression intertwined with sex, and if so, it creeps me the hell out.
*do you discuss past conquests with your current cutie? -they're not "conquests," especially since they're decidedly not mine now even if they ever were in some way mine, but yes I certainly discuss them.
*have you ever rented an x-rated movie? -no.
*what do you do if you discover your boyfriend or girlfriend's porn stash? -check to see whether they have a taste for the "let's pretend I'm raping you" plotlines, and if so, be severely creeped out. If it's merely nonviolently sexist, I'd be inclined to attribute the sexism to the porn industry's tastes rather than my partner's tastes, and figure they would really prefer some nice graphic feminist queer independently made films but just couldn't find any, and therefore I would not be creeped out.
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