You Know You're Addicted to LiveJournal When . . .
(Bold the ones that apply to you.)
If you can't access the site, you have a minor freak out - and a major case of hitting reload.
You found yourself composing journal entries during dates, movies, even sex!
When you're out, you suddenly think of a witty reply to a comment somebody made to you... several days ago.
You actually call it LJ and not LiveJournal.
You've downloaded some sort of LJ program which has only the purpose of making entries easier to write without going on the site manually.
You consider it a great offense if someone deletes you off their friends list. (I've always endeavored to prevent my friends list selection from being in any way affected by who adds me - other than the fact that I go look at the journals of anybody who adds me and add anybody who I would have added anyway if I'd just stumbled onto them randomly. I've also been getting gradually slower over the time I've been on LiveJournal at even noticing who's added me at all. These days it can sometimes take a couple of weeks before I notice.)
The first thing you do every day when you go online is check your friends journals - even before checking your email.
Your LJ comment email notifications far outnumber your other non-spam email anyway.
You actually paid money for a few extra pictures with a full account when you could actually just alternate pics when you want to for your screen icons.
When your friends ask what's new, you get mad at them because you already wrote it in your LJ and they didn't check it yet. (They never know I'm mad at them, though - I keep it to myself. And there's really only one person it's happened with. That would be chaiwala. He still isn't going to know I'm silently annoyed at him, because he isn't going to read this entry, because he hasn't read anybody's entries in months. Oh well. I'll live through it, I'm sure. I have no real right to be mad at him since really I ought to be grateful he agreed to join LiveJournal in the first place.)
You have put more time into LJ than all your assignments for the semester. (I really have no other responsibilities than LJ these days . . .)
You have more friends on LJ than in real life. (Hell, I have NO friends in "real life." Unless you choose to count people I first met on LJ and subsequently met in person as "friends in real life," in which case I have two of them, one of whom actually lives in the area - rhekarid - and the other of whom I bought plane tickets for in order to meet in "real life" - chisparoja. Incidentally, I find the use of the term "real life" to describe offline life quite ridiculous, because LiveJournal life is my real life, whereas my offline life is just a cheap substitute.)
You've met at least 50% of your LJ friends. (Huh? That would actually be a sign of offline addiction, not LiveJournal addiction. Which is precisely why in my case, I've only met two of my LiveJournal friends, or three if you count metacarp as still existing on LiveJournal despite the fact that he hasn't updated in years. I bought plane tickets for him too, back in July 2002.)
You can't seem to call your friends by their real names - only LJ names will do.
You've fallen in love with someone you met on LJ. (Twice . . . well, actually, I sort of met chisparoja elsewhere on the internet before LJ. But I definitely met metacarp first on LJ.)
You have posted about a party or get together on your LJ... and random strangers showed up. (I don't have parties. And if I did, no one would want to come to them anyway because I would ban alcohol from them because I can't stand being around drunk people. And I probably can't stand being around people under the influence of other mind-altering substances either, though I haven't actually experienced that yet.)
You are guilty of traveling more than an hour to meet someone with LiveJournal. (Extra points for traveling five hours or more) (I generally get them to do the traveling instead of me, but it's close to an hour's drive to rhekarid's house, and it's also about an hour's drive to the airport. It's also at least five hours from here to Missouri or Ohio or Brooklyn, where metacarp and chisparoja traveled from.)
You've written a protected entry about one of your LiveJournal friends. (Extra points if they eventually found out about it) (I don't generally trust LiveJournal filters with any really high-security information, especially because I tend to reuse the filters for a million different purposes so anybody who'd been filtered out of the entries could easily find them later if they read through my archives. But I use them occasionally for low-security information. And then of course I wrote plenty of entries about metacarp without filtering him out of any of them at all, but I also knew he wouldn't actually read them since he'd stopped checking LiveJournal.)
You have written posts to notify people you're going to sleep. (Definitely not often, but I probably have at least once some time or other. I'm sure I would have put other content in the same entry, though.)
You talk about your LJ friends to your real life friends all the time... like they're a part of your group. (I would if I had any "real life" friends . . .)
You've created a LJ community, and people actually post in it. (I created queerchoice, which I like, and co-created abolishgender, which I also like. I created transvestism, which I'm not really that fond of and kind of want to get rid of because it's so dominated by hetero males and that wasn't who I envisioned it being for at all. I also created genemyth, which no one has ever joined because I never actually mentioned its existence to anyone.)
You've been recognized in real life by a fellow LJ'er.
You have friended someone because of their LiveJournal icon. (Nah - I have an elaborate system for mathematically calculating who to add, to spare me from ever having to take responsibility for making difficult decisions myself, and icons don't play any role in my system.)
You have "pity friends" on your list, who you would defriend if you could. (I have three or four very rare exceptions to my system, but they wouldn't be exceptions if I didn't adore them, so they're not "pity friends" at all.)
You've pimped one of your friends on journal, trying to get people to friend him/her.
Instead of doing research, you post difficult questions on your LiveJournal.
Your pets all have their own LiveJournals. (I haven't got any pets, but I'm sure they would if I had any. speaking of which, what should I do with india_felinespy's rarely-used journal if she gets kicked out of the White House?)
You know, right now, how many people have friended you (without peeking). (Somewhere over 200, and way too many for me to read them all. That's all I know.)
You've stopped being friends with someone in real life because of something they've said on LJ.
You're guilty of posting sexy or nude pictures to get more people to friend you.
You have consoled yourself after a horrible day by thinking, "At least this will make a great LJ post."
You're jealous of people who have more friends and/or comments than you. (I used to be, when I didn't have so many. At this point, though, I really have no jealousy whatsoever of people like wolfiegirl who are friend of 800+ people.)
You have written a really great, solid post - only to be disappointed by the lack of good comments. (This only really happens in the gaylemadwin journal, though. In the queerbychoice one I usually get a ton of comments on every word I write. Why do people not comment anywhere near as much on fiction posts?)
You're guilty of commenting excessively to get more traffic to your journal. (I'm guilty of commenting excessively, but not for that reason. Rather, I have too much to say all the time, and also sometimes when people make especially powerful entries I feel like it would be wrong to pass by with no comment even if I have nothing at all to say. Usually in the latter case, whatever I come up with to try to say ends up somehow unexpectedly annoying the person and I regret having made myself try to not let them feel unnoticed. As a result, I'm trying not to feel so obligated anymore to comment on entries just because they're unusally powerful.)
You've deleted a post a few minutes (or hours) after you've written it, because it seemed lame in retrospect. (I never delete posts. But I do edit them a few minutes or hours after writing them, because they seem lame in retrospect.)
You give shout outs to all your LJ friends on their birthdays. (Normally only if they make a post mentioning it.)
You have an additional, secret journal that hardly anyone knows about. (I have several additional journals, but they're not secret at all.)
You've broken up with someone - or ended a friendship - solely via LiveJournal. (metacarp broke up with me via email, and I broke up with chisparoja via AIM. However, I conducted my entire relationship with metacarp nearly exclusively via LiveJournal, aside from the two weeks' visit in person. chisparoja and I, on the other hand, have always communicated more via AIM than via LiveJournal.)
You have gotten mean anonymous comments (bonus points for figuring out who it was via their IP) (No bonus points, because I've always kept IP tracking turned off. I don't care who wrote the anonymous comments. It doesn't matter. They can be as anonymous as they like.)
You've been reported (or reported someone) to LJ Abuse. (I've been advised to report people to LJ Abuse, but I chose not to because I'm not that into punishing people.)
You've been featured on LJ Drama. (The LJ Drama website seriously lowers my esteem for humanity, and I mean that even more in regard to the people who read and comment on LJ Drama than in regard to the people they post about and "feature" on LJ Drama. There's too much getting off on making other people miserable, and too little regard for whether the people being made miserable ever did anything worthy of the amount of misery they're being caused.)
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are LJ addicts.