Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin

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Feline Walnut Addiction

Recently I bought a bag of walnuts, still in their shells. My intention was to eat them. But Stardust has done everything in her power to make this difficult.

I cannot throw the empty walnut shells in the wastebasket, because they do not stay there for even ten seconds before Stardust leaps in and pulls them out and starts batting them all over the floor. I cannot throw the empty walnut shells in a plastic bag and twist-tie it closed and then put them in the wastebasket, because Stardust has claws that are fully capable of ripping open plastic bags, and she wastes no time in using them. So the only way I can eat walnuts in any peace is to take them outside and go stand over a dumpster, throwing the shells directly into the dumpster as I break them open.

Furthermore, I cannot leave the plastic bag of unopened walnuts anywhere within sight of Stardust either, because every single time I turn my back, there are walnuts all over the floor, walnuts in the bathtub, walnuts in the sink, walnuts in my bed, walnuts pretty much every possible place that walnuts really never ought to be. It's like some sort of fall-season variation on an Easter egg hunt. Maybe it's an established cat holiday that I've never been properly informed about before.
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