Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin
queerbychoice

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In Which I Both Do and Do Not Wish My Smoke Alarm Would Go Off

There are very, very few ways in which I find my current apartment inferior to my old one, but here are two closely related ones:

1. I have no idea how to turn off the smoke alarm here. There are no apparent batteries, and no apparent way to disconnect the wires, short of ripping them out permanently. There is a way to unscrew the smoke alarm from the ceiling, but it's still connected to the wires, and the light that shows the power is on remains lit.

2. I've never actually needed to find out how to turn off the smoke alarm here, because no matter how many times I stupidly overcook things, and no matter how much smoke comes billowing out of the microwave, the smoke alarm never actually goes off. Whereas at my old apartment, the smoke alarm would go off anytime I even faintly singed a meal at all, long before the meal had actually ceased to be edible or produced any visible or smellable (to my inferior human senses) smoke at all. This makes me suspect that the smoke alarm at my current apartment is so insensitive to smoke that if there was ever a real, dangerous fire while I wasn't awake to notice, the smoke alarm would probably not get around to warning me of a fire by actually going off until after I had already finished burning to death. Admittedly, the smoke alarm at my current apartment is not three feet from the oven like the smoke alarm at my old apartment was. But it's not that far away.

Tonight's cooking disaster was brought about by trying to make a coffee-free, lactose-free, alcohol-free (I didn't really object to the alcohol since it would have been cooked away anyway, but I couldn't find it at the grocery store and I did object to having to go to a liquor store, because all the liquor stores I know of are surrounded by the sorts of people who hang out at liquor stores all day long) variation of this recipe posted by rampling. And if you're thinking, "But Gayle, there's practically nothing left of that recipe if you remove all the coffee, lactose, and alcohol!" then you're quite right. Which is probably why the cooking instructions did not work well when I drastically changed all the ingredients.

(I did eventually produce a food of some sort, containing pears and chocolate and bearing not much other resemblance to the recipe. It's edible . . . but I think there are far better uses for chocolate than this one.)

Completely unrelatedly: I'm not normally in the habit of recommending books that I haven't actually read myself, but I feel that books written entirely by spelling out the words with eye-blinking merit an exception. Thanks, kejlina (who has read one), for sharing that!
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