Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin

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There was a huge ugly yellow-and-black-striped narrow-pointy-bodied wasp in my apartment!!!!!

I heard buzzing and went into the kitchen to investigate but couldn't find anything . . . gave up and went back to my computer and then an hour or two later I heard it again . . . this time I could see a shadow flitting around the light on the kitchen ceiling . . . I could also see that it was too big to be a fly or even a honey bee . . . it flew around and around and then it landed on a cupboard door . . . I was naked as usual and didn't want to battle a wasp with so much skin exposed so I draped a big black sheet loosely over myself and put on my shoes and my glasses . . . then sneaked past the cupboard and grabbed the Ant & Roach Killer . . . the wasp never moved an inch . . . I stood there examining the wasp for a few minutes because it was up above my arm's reach almost at the ceiling and I had to plan and aim carefully because I didn't know how much effect the Ant & Roach Killer would have on a wasp or how angry the wasp might get after I sprayed it . . . anyway after a few minutes of staring at it unmoving and psyching myself up I did spray it . . . I hit it right on, hard, and it just sat there a second but then it got up and flew around the room in dizzy lopsided circles and I sprayed wildly in the air . . . then it landed on the counter and I hit it again with a steady stream of spray, I made a big puddle of Ant and Roach Killer around it there on the countr and the wasp was upside down in the middle of the puddle with its legs flailing wildly . . . but it didn't die and the legs didn't slow down or seem weak, I had a feeling that except for it being upside down and its wings being wet there was nothing really wrong with it . . . so I picked up the ammonia bottle next to it and pushed that down on top of the wasp . . . so the wasp must be dead now . . . but I didn't pick up the ammonia bottle to check, I just left it there sitting on top of the squashed wasp.

The scariest thing is that I haven't opened either door of my apartment since Tuesday afternoon and now it's Thursday afternoon so that thing must have been in here alive for at least 48 hours before I noticed it. It wasn't a very active wasp, it seemed to prefer sitting absolutely still and quiet most of the time so I guess it was easy not to notice it. But now I'm terribly disturbed.

I've never been stung by a wasp like that. I've been stung by honey bees three times, a tiny little gall wasp once (that one hurt like hell for a couple of hours afterward) and then the day after I was stung by the gall wasp I stepped on one of those huge bumble bees that are like an inch in diameter and covered with yellow and black striped fur. The bumble bee sting didn't exactly really hurt that much but the huge evil bee was still stuck in my toe and very much alive when I picked up my foot, so I had to actually pull the whole gigantic furry loudly buzzing bee out of my foot by hand and watch it fly away and then my foot swelled up gigantically for the next three days.

I'm really, really glad the wasp is dead and didn't sting me. Excuse me now, I have to go throw out its corpse.
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