Susan Is Single! Susan Is Single! Susan Is Single!
HOORAY!!! It may sound odd for me to be cheering about my fiancee being single again, but in this case, I have good reason. Susan's domestic partnership with her ex whom she left in 2006 is FINALLY DISSOLVED!!! Only a completely ridiculous 32 and a half months after she paid the lawyer to file for dissolution. (For comparison, even extremely complicated divorce cases involving custody disputes generally take only 6 months, and nothing whatsoever was being disputed in this case. The lawyer was simply massively incompetent.)
I told Susan not to go thinking she's back on the market now. She's MINE.
P.S. And in other news, today is the 19th anniversary of the day I turned queer. Happy birthday, dear queerness! I fully intend to marry you off before you turn 21.