Gayle Madwin (queerbychoice) wrote,
Gayle Madwin

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An Open Letter to Basically All Manufacturers of Women's Clothing

Dear Sirs,

I'm not going to bother adding "and/or Madams" because it's very clear that you never wear women's clothing, so even if some of you do have female gender identities and/or anatomy, I think the fact that you wear exclusively men's clothing makes it likely that you're sufficiently genderbending to be fairly comfortable being addressed as "sirs" at least occasionally.

On that note, I'm writing this letter to explain to you that most women do not actually want our clothing to reveal every aspect of our anatomy to everyone. That is, most women do not actually want our clothing to be transparent. This fact about women still applies, believe it or not, even in summer, when you drag out all your clothing made from the cheapest, flimsiest, most utterly worthless fabrics ever created by whatever unskilled child laborers you hired in your sweatshops in various second- or third-world countries.

In particular, we need to talk about the skirts you start selling every summer. Yes, I am aware that we women have the option to compensate for transparent skirts by wearing slips underneath them. But you seem to be unaware of two reasons why this option does not actually make your transparent skirts wearable or summer-appropriate.

First, there are very real limits to how much transparency a slip can compensate for. It's one thing if we just need slips to add a little opacity in case our skirts are not quite opaque enough to look quite socially acceptable in the event that we are occasionally backlit by bright sunlight. It is a very different thing if our skirts are so transparent that the effect of wearing slips underneath them would be to provoke friends, acquaintances, and random strangers to greet us by exclaiming, "What a beautiful slip you're wearing under that transparent skirt today!" Most women are not actually hoping to receive that sort of compliment.

Second, you know that shiny nylon fabric that you manufacture every single slip everywhere out of? Well, it's not a breathable fabric; it tends to get rather hot and sticky if worn in the summertime. The result is that, although you keep trying to market these transparent skirts to us under the guise that they are more comfortable to wear in the summertime than thicker, heavier skirts would be, in reality it is far more comfortable in summer to wear a properly opaque skirt that does not require a slip, even if the skirt itself may be very thick and heavy indeed, than to wear an absurdly flimsy, transparent skirt with a hot, sticky nylon slip underneath.

Now, we also need to talk about your latest invention that you are trying to sell as the hot new trend of this particular summer: "reversible" skirts. It is extremely clear how these "reversible" skirts got invented: clearly your sweatshop laborers, in the effort to save time and money, produced even more spectacularly unusably thin fabric than they usually do, and some quality assurance worker in your employ who had a drop or two of integrity pointed out to you that a single layer of such utterly transparent fabric could not reasonably be marketed as a skirt that any woman should actually venture out in public in. So, in your determination not to let this fabric go to waste, you came up with the bright idea of sewing together two layers of this utterly transparent fabric, and choosing different colors or prints for each layer so as to be able to market the skirts as "reversible." Well, here are the problems with that. First, two layers of utterly transparent fabric are not actually enough to come anywhere near avoiding the "What a beautiful slip!" remarks when we are out and about. Second, the color or print on the bottom layer blatantly shows through the top layer, so it isn't actually as if we get a choice of wearing the skirt as a floral print or a polka-dot print; rather, we get a choice of wearing it as a floral print with polka dots showing through or as a polka-dot print with flowers showing through. Either way looks bizarre and is apt to provoke yet more odd "compliments": "What a beautiful slip you're wearing under that transparent floral-print skirt under that completely different transparent polka-dot skirt today!"

In conclusion, could you please hire some adults, pay them enough to produce actual properly opaque fabric, and sell us some clothes that aren't transparent? Much obliged.

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