*On the radio: Mariah Carey and Celine Dion.
*On the TV: I don't know; I don't turn on my TV often enough to know what bad programs are there.
*On the VCR: Arnold Schwarzenegger.
*Your spouse/partner: Any of the Symbionese Liberation Army members who kidnapped Patty Hearst and kept her locked in a closet for two months while they raped her and told her she was consenting to it and yelled at her every two minutes that she'd better not dare to even think anything bad about them because they didn't want the FBI to be able to pick up any "negative emotional vibes" in the air that might supposedly enable them to track her down.
*Your dinner: Spinach, green beans, anything green at all.
*Your clothes: Grey, black, brown, or hideously clashing colors; V-necks; stupid teenage-girl-trying-desperately-to-keep-u
*Your hair: A horrible gigantic tangled mess with angry stinging insects trapped in it.
*Your library: Completely empty.
*Your dwelling: Muddy-floored, freezing cold and covered with a wide variety of exotic bugs I don't recognize.
*Your neighborhood: A bunch of people who HATE me with intense passion.
*Your job: They'd offer me an extremely high-paying jobs as a gas oven cook at Auschwitz, but I'd betray them so they'd just have to make me a prisoner there, and refuse to kill me.
*Having a conversation with: A bunch of religious fanatics.
My Idea of Heaven
*On the radio: The same stuff I play on my CD player already.
*On the TV: Take everybody I know online, give them all their own TV stations and an infinite amount of time and money to make any kind of shows they're inspired to make.
*On the VCR: Just give me the time and money to write and fund some films of my own.
*Your spouse/partner: Somebody exactly like me, except with a library full of extra information in their head that I don't have, so I can learn something new from them all the time.
*Your dinner: An endless supply of chocolate eclairs. And yeah, occasional other things when I need variety. Lots of bread and cereal and fruit.
*Your clothes: Long brightly colored dresses with huge circle skirts and square-cut necklines. Oh, and the fabric needs to be virtually intangible, because I hatee how the textures of most fabrics irritate my skin.
*Your hair: Exactly the way it is when it's just dried after being washed. Except I'd like it to grow about three feet longer.
*Your library: The Library of Congress.
*Your dwelling: The Library of Congress, with meals and all other necessary supplies special-delivered to the front door so I never have to go shopping.
*Your neighborhood: I don't care, because I'm unlikely to leave the Library of Congress more than once or twice a year.
*Your job: None. I'll just do whatever I'm inspired to do and get money automatically.
*Having a conversation with: The same people I already have conversations with.
LAST TIME YOU KISSED SOMEONE? December 1997.
LAST TIME YOU HUGGED SOMEONE? I don't know. It's probably been somewhere between six months and two years.
LAST THING YOU READ? The Broken Bridge, by Philip Pullman.
LAST MOVIE YOU SAW ON THE BIG SCREEN? Ummmmm . . . . it's been at least four or five years since then. It was probably the last Star Trek movie that came out. Whatever it was called.
LAST PHONE NUMBER YOU CALLED? The emergency pager number for my apartment complex maintenance guy.
LAST SHOW YOU WATCHED ON TV? Enterprise.
LAST SONG YOU HEARD? Hmm. The last one I remember is "How You Remind Me" by Nickelback.
LAST THING YOU HAD TO DRINK? Tampico "Orange Mango Tangerine" flavored punch.
LAST THING YOU ATE? Chocolate eclairs.